After finishing a grueling project such as the one that utterly devoured my personal month of April in the fine year of 2011, I like to unwind in the traditional ways.
Kieron started talking to me all hell of uppity one evening.
Okay, so it seems that both Billy and Jeremy have taken to drinking more frequently than they used to.
Surprise of the Century! The writers for OMGJeremy are a bunch of grumps and can complain all day long about absolutely nothing! And then can write about it! This is because we are “humor writers” and observational humor is easy, but it is even easier when it is actually trying to just mask a lot of whining. Although, we’re not saying that we successfully masked a damn thing here. The other problem with our crankiness is that we are slowly turning into elderly people, so occasions that used to not even register as anything to be annoyed by are becoming events that can make or break an entire day via causing an Anger-Aneurysm or Hate-Heart Attack. Watch out because in ten years, we will be writing about how mad it makes us when a kid touches the house thermostat, or how these damned windows let the heat just fly right out in the winter. I assume at that age, most concerns involve heating bills. Anyway, read on, reader.
Technology has really come a long way when it comes to how we communicate. With advances in social networking, people are now closer than ever and have a great open forum for discussing their thoughts, feelings, and theories. This ease of communication means that those very same ideas can be discussed amongst a wide group and everyone can work together to act out on them and possibly even change the world in the process.
Or they can sit around and talk about food all goddamn day because they are a fat-ass.
If you’re even able to read this, I’m impressed. After stuffing your fat fucking face, shooting off a bunch of ghetto-assed fireworks, and drinking so much that even your many alcoholic friends start saying such deep things as, “Not cool, man”, you surely are considering this a very happy Memorial Day indeed. You are on top of the world.
Why the hell are you happy?
Journey back with me to the Garden of Eden. Having never read the Bible, everything I say in this paragraph may be very inaccurate but honestly half the stuff in there is open to interpretation so don’t try telling me I’m wrong. I am talking about a particular type of man in this article, and that damned Adam was the first one. Once proud and clothed only by a leaf over his hangdowns, Adam would soon become not-so-proud and probably still just clothed only by a leaf over his hangdowns. It was a woman that caused his downfall. A woman and his inability to say no and to be a fucking man.
.. with additional content by Amanda..
Hello dear friends, dear readers. A Merry Christmas to you. We are bringing you a little gift today, because we are NOT afraid to put in a little work on the Baby Jesus’ birthday. We may be godless wretches. We ARE, however, definitely pretty lazy, so we generally take any excuse we can to not write a thing.. This will let it be known then that this video must be Pretty Incredible for us to get off of our slack ponies and mosey on over here.
We bring you Johnny Cash.
In the late night hours, you find yourself doing things that you normally wouldn’t when it comes to entertainment. Whether you all of a sudden realize you’ve just sat through 4 hours of a Bob Newhart marathon, or you’ve mindlessly ambled through a viewing of Bewitched (the movie), it has happened to all of us. The later it gets, the more your standards go out the door, and it gets to the point to where you will take just about anything…whether you like it or not. I guess it’s sorta like being an ugly girl in that respect.
To be completely honest, I’m typing this to try to get that whole thing going where you all agree and then think to yourself about what horrors you subjected yourself to for the sake of late night entertainment. It’s supposed to help you relate to me, and more than anything is supposed to make me not look completely insane when I tell you that it is 3:30AM on a Friday morning, and I just spent the last hour burning down every fucking evil root on Alone in the Dark for the 360.