As is so often the case, I sat down intending to write a fast and pretty little articlette about a subject I had just seen pictures of and opinions formed instantly in my mind.
Hello future patrons of the art world! I welcome you to your newest, and soon-to-be most important hobby: the collection of the fine art.
Yesterday we got our first look at a “Teen Baby.” If you missed out on the first part of that gem of an interview, I suggest you click here to check it out. Otherwise, it’s time to delve into part two, where we will look at how someone can validate such a lifestyle. We’ll also meet a new teen baby friend, who turns out to not only be a teen baby, but also a suicidal goth. Which somehow creates a black hole of whininess that I don’t think will ever be recreated in modern times again. So without further ado, I present the Teen Baby Interviews Part 2:
The Set Up
The other OMGWriters will agree with me when I say that one of the terrible perks and awful consequences of writing articles for this website is the fact that many, many strangers will start talking to you if you have made yourself possible to contact. I, somewhat foolishly, have had my AOL Instant Messenger screen name public for some time now. Unwittingly, I have set myself up for the article you are looking at now. That’s right, the very first OMGJeremy Exclusive Interview!
See, I was sitting here innocently enough when a new person sent me what those in the business refer to as an “Instant Message.” This is a somewhat ordinary occurrence for me. I always proceed with caution, as my parents taught me. Here is how things started (I’ve changed his name in an act of compassion):
Those Horrible Sticky Baby Things Make Me Frown
Human babies are not pretty things. Ever. They dribble, goo, spit up, stink outrageously, and make ear-shattering screech-noises at all hours of the day. Their heads are enormous for their body sizes, and they don’t appear to have teeth or anything. They can’t even form words. Instead, they make nonsense gurgle noises which, quite frankly, terrify me. Some babies don’t have any hair, and some unfortunate babies have far too much hair. Exceptionally ugly babies already have a unibrow. I have seen a few of them, mostly in photographs. I avoid babies as much as humanly possible, and yet, even I have been faced with the question, “Awww, isn’t he or she just the cutest thing?” Of course, it is not.
So, I went to a holiday party hosted by one of my old highschool friends last night.
Once again, we here at omgjeremy.com are delving into the strange and horrible world of the Uncommon Fetish.