Tag Archive for Foodstuff

Childhood RAGE: Goddamned Sweet Tea

Growing up in the South (as a PROUD SOUTHERNER) I was offered a variety of food and drink items on a regular basis.  Most of these were good.  We’re talking about your fried chicken, watermelon, grape soda, SOME BBQ, Cheerwine,  and other assorted Southern delicacies.  This was quite pleasing, as they were always being offered and seemingly readily abundant.  There are however a few Southern staples that don’t please me.  There are a few food / drink items that downright disgust me.  The big problem is that those were just as readily available and were being offered to me just as often.  But one item stood out above all others… and it was a beverage.  In fact, I don’t think it even deserves to be called a beverage.  It’s swill.  The foulest swill.  It haunted me throughout my childhood.  One sip and I turned into Jim Carrey, my face contorting wildly, jaw jutting out further than my bone structure allowed.  Much like Jim Carrey, this was no laughing matter either.

I was plagued my entire goddamn childhood by SWEET TEA!

Supermarket Noodle Bowls: Don’t Buy Them

So lately I’ve been trying to find something that I can eat for lunch at work that doesn’t come out of that part of the frozen meal section that oh so many middle aged women huddle around at your local supermarket. While those frozen meals are generally OK, I find myself slowly spiralling into depression more and more with every microwave thawing of one. I have no idea why. Maybe because it makes me sad that I would much rather be eating Spaghettios straight out of the can than sitting there deciding if I would rather get another frozen brick of French Mushroom Italian Delight Panini, or Italian Lobster Fish Fart Bake. At least Spaghettios have a taste. They taste like Spaghettios. All of that frozen stuff just tastes like microwave radiation. No matter how many fancy ingredients you claim are in it.