In the past, we have looked at a lot of yesteryear’s most terrifying Halloween costumes. And, despite our strong opinions on the shittiness of children’s costumery before — that was solidly reserved as a complaint against contemporary costumes.
Once upon a time, we said to HELL with children and their costumes. This is because children typically dress as cartoon characters in store bought costumes. Or their ever-controlling parents dress them up in some cute pumpkin outfit and call it a day. Or, if we are talking about the tween children, they are dressed in somewhat more imaginative costumes, or, if they are girls, as too-revealing Slut Lite girl characters like princesses and pop stars, which makes us too uncomfortable to even look at. We promise. Children have boring, unimaginative costumes, and they are really only dressed up in order to deserve candy when they go Trick or Treating. They aren’t really trying to express themselves or seem clever. They are just all having wide-eyed experiences that they will forget in a sugar haze within a week, if not by the end of Halloween night itself. We, as adults who value this day, think poorly of these children, if we think of them at all. We want SCARY costumes – or, we want respectable hand-made offerings. Children hardly ever deliver this way.
I don’t even know if Kieron here is pro- or anti- Ayn Rand
I really don’t know what to tell you about this one other than it is a pretty standard scenario for Esther to encounter real treats while at public ale houses.
It’s that time of year again! The time of year to GET FIT, FATTIES!
Jeremy P. Goes Ghost Hunting
starring Jeremy P
This past summer, I went to St. Augustine, Florida, for a few days. Most of the time was spent eating my way through Florida, but one evening the people I was staying with wanted to go on a guided ghost tour of the St. Augustine Lighthouse – a place that is famously haunted, to the extent that Ghost Hunters went there and filmed a shadowy figure inside the lighthouse. I’m not normally really into this sort of thing, but I was on vacation and I was promised we would get a few drinks afterwards. At the very least, it was something I could say I did on vacation that wasn’t illegal or “sitting inside playing my DS” for a change.
The literary world is rich and full of wonder. I know that we are all avid readers of fine books and voracious readers of fine periodicals and delicious websites dedicated to offering fine journalism such as the one you are reading right this very minute. Well wait let me apologize right now for the quality of writing I am doing tonight but I am dizzy with caffeine and that probably will cause me to ramble in a paranoid manner until my heart gives out or I fall asleep in some sort of caffeine coma – whichever comes first and really both are extremely likely at this point.
Nursery rhymes are an oft-overlooked segment by adults in the Land of Literature. We memorize them when we are very small, but then cast them aside once we can comprehend child fictions about riding horses, or little books about not being afraid of the dark, or not being afraid of failure, or owning and riding dinosaurs, or having imaginary friends. But those nursery rhymes are very important for us as tiny youths, and we probably still have most of them buried away in our brains, ready to be recited at the drop of any old hat anywhere.
The subjects of a lot of these nursery rhymes are actually kind of creepy. We have all heard about that one rhyme really being about the bubonic plague horrors and everyone dying. There are others too, so it stands to reason that pretty much all of these rhymes are based on adult themes and death and destruction, or in the case of that disgusting Georgie Porgie – date rape.