Flashback Thursday Presents: DEAR XV: I Am A Goddamned Mess. Please Help.
I know more than you.
This has been covered innumerable times. I know more than you, because you’re a sniveling pack of heathenous fuckwits who are barely worth the time it takes to defecate in your shoes and I am a glorious, golden God on earth, a magnificent specimen of virility and all-encompassing knowledge. Let’s review a few of my many accomplishments, shall we?
Kinda like me, only I’m much better hung. Also, more flexible.
I know our Depression Theme is dead and buried, and I know you might be thinking at first that this comic deals with the dark facts of self-harm, but don’t worry. It’s okay. I wasn’t ACTUALLY sad in this conversation, so it is a humorous interaction through and through! It also features a nearly-very-unfortunate typoing from me here, which is always cause for cheer. Oh, oh also I have to confess that Crystal’s hair is apparently not accurate here. My journalistic integrity is on the line. But when she told me that her hair is purple now, I had already decided on the panels being purple so it was TOUGH LUCK. No dice, kids. There’s always next time. Her hair has been this color before, at least. 
You may wonder why Adam is holding a tortoise throughout this comic that has nothing to do with a tortoise. Well, it is because he actually has a pet tortoise. I have seen 
It’s that time of the year again for all of those fun and dangerously mysterious fall festivals that seem to appear out of a separate dimension on random weekends. These festivals can be both incredibly boring, and quite a chore to walk around. But with today’s guide, we’re hoping we can narrow that down to just being incredibly boring, since there’s not a thing on Earth that would ever make a festival exciting that I know of. With our help, we hope to take the confusion out of festivals, so that you can concentrate on wandering around acre upon acre of land, all filled with people trying to sell you crafts you’d never want, food that would kill a large elephant, and enough good old fashioned fun to make you want to start taking hostages. 
Okay, so it seems that both Billy and Jeremy have taken to drinking more frequently than they used to. Don’t worry, it isn’t a Problem.. I think. But one night Billy Holiday stumbled onto AIM and angrily insulted Jeremy, who was probably asleep at home, blissfully unaware. So, heads up, Jeremy. This is how you are talked about when you aren’t around. Enjoy! 
