So here we are. At the end of yet another month of depression. How many have we had? How many more can there possibly be? Each time seems to get worse and worse but, barring getting medicated (of course barring that – but we’ll get into that some other day), what can we, collectively, DO about all of this sadness. I’ll tell you what we OUGHT to do. (more…)
I don’t know what real purpose this article serves. The subject of this story isn’t something I ever thought I would be typing up for the site. Reason being that it is not funny. It isn’t funny in the least. But since we are going the whole “emotional, depressing” route this month, I feel that maybe this will be a chance for me to let out something serious. Something that isn’t me being angry about some inane happening, or berating a group of people for whatever differences they may have from me. A chance to really do something different. (more…)
Sometimes I am moody and emotional. Then Jeremy laughs at me or is quick to mock. So, rather than insist on being sad, it is always the best idea to just go along with it and the next thing you know, you have developed a Million Dollar Idea. I can’t see this character ever getting old and also we can finally express ourselves through poetry!! (more…)
A few weeks ago, I wrote a giant ass rant about some of the worst jobs I’ve ever had. Initially, it had one last job at the end that was pulled at the last minute. Mostly because the more I wrote about it, the more I realized how depressing it was. And since depression month was just around the corner, I figured it may well be better saved for when the mood was right. (more…)
It really seems as though 9 times out of 10 if you ask someone if they have any regrets in life they will tell you that they in fact do not. You get that a lot. I guess I can kind of see not having any regrets if you subscribe to the whole “everything happens for a reason” theory. If you think like that, then anything you did in the past (positive or negative) got you to where you are today. So basically if you are happy with your life currently then there is no need in regretting anything because it was all part of the “journey.”
People use that word a lot, don’t they? Journey. (more…)
There are days when sadness is everywhere, inside of you and outside in the world. It is one of the most exhausting things that can happen to a person who is not moving even one single inch, physically. Although it can be confirmed that you are moving downward inches per minute, emotionally. (more…)
As far as I know, it is a universally true fact that every single one of us was, at one point or another, born into this world. Unless we were actually cut out of mother tummies, we have been forced through the loving vaginae of our moms. There was a lot of blood, and tearing of a birth canal or two, screaming and crying and the unpleasant act of cutting the umbilical cord. It’s really a huge traumatic mess for everyone involved in that horrible scene. But we’ve all been there. Thankfully, it is traumatic enough that our tiny infant minds forgot about it immediately, and we have no memory of the event. And, in fact, it was so traumatic to our fragile minds that we didn’t even start actually remembering things for a few years after it, too. Such was the trauma! But your parents didn’t forget. Parents seldom forget, actually. They want to remind you and everyone of your splattering entry onto the earth every single year. These things become tradition pretty quickly. And now most people have birthdays that they celebrate. Some crazy religious nuts don’t choose to celebrate their own personal holiday – and to each their own I suppose. Wait, wait! Why am I rambling so badly already in this first paragraph? I’ll just get on with it.
Ladies and gentlemen, happy birthday. (more…)
Being a grown up is probably hard. I wouldn’t know, of course, but I do suspect it. I mean, normally I am in this great fantasy bubble where I don’t think about reality for very long, but in this particular AIM Comic Instance, I had a reality check. If I had to depend on myself to survive, I might not actually be able to survive. Holly almost comforted me, she seems like she did try for a moment there, bless her little heart. (more…)
I’m not sure if you guys ever noticed this, but updates on this site sort of ebb and flow. As we are the most depressed mini-cluster of writers on the Internet, this makes perfect sense. At any given moment, one or all of us is in the throes of a crippling despair – or, in contrast, one or all of us is chirpy and pleased with life. This wide range in overall mood is reflected in our overall productivity, here on the Illustrious OMGJeremy.com and also in every single aspect of our lives. (more…)
Everyone has a point in their lives where they wonder just how badly they are failing at becoming an adult. Many of us have this same point of worry multiple times in a week! This is a completely natural concern. We all also seem to eventually have a moment where we gasp, clutch at our hearts, and realize with horror that we have become our parents. Or at least, that we are getting very close to being our parents which then causes us to react and act like young people again but it is always pathetic because once you’ve reached a certain point of growing up, you can’t go back and oh god it makes me sick all of the time lost hold on I have to go hyperventilate into a brown paper bag. (more…)
I think there is nothing more absolutely mysterious in every way about how something functions than a relationship between two humans. I mean, you can deal with animal relationships, as those are relatively simple; Female seeks male to breed, male lumbers over and initiates in awkward sexual conduct, female is impregnated and will most likely kill or eat the male afterward. It’s all quite simple in its ingenuity, and it’s been working for millions of years so why even bother trying to change it? (more…)
My good friend Kevin is normally a little chipper chipmunky kind of thing, all sugar and light. However, it turns out that this is just a facade - a facade that sometimes CRACKS AND SHATTERS without warning. This comic depicts such a time. What was at first a normal style of banter, an ordinary day, turns into a breakdown which probably led to weeks of counseling for all I know. I now treat Kevin like the fragile egg of insecurity and worry that he is. (more…)
I watched this movie last night hoping it would be sad. And it was, kind of. All of the elements for sadness were present. It was a slow, plodding tale of a nice guy with the odds continually stacked against him, having to endure just the worst of days, every day, with no actual relief. By the end of every scene, I expected him to snap and kill everyone. He never did. But I am sorry for getting ahead of myself here. Oh, also, I plan to spoil the hell out of this whole movie. I am doing this to SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE. (more…)
One of the things I actually admire about the elderly is their ability to tell heart-crushing and inappropriate gloom-and-doom stories without even flinching. I’m not sure if they are just completely unaware, socially inept, or maybe just don’t give a fucking shit what everyone else thinks. The point is, they have lived so many decades of deaths and heartaches that tearful tales are just as commonplace and frequent as breakfast is for the rest of us.
My grandmother is not excluded. (more…)
“Are you surprised at my tears, sir? Strong men also cry… strong men also cry.” (more…)
One of the undeniable facts of life is that everyone wants to be a rock star. Maybe not technically a “rock and roll” star– maybe you really want to be a famous rapper, or a country star, or the next Wierd Al Yankovic or something– but deep down everyone wants to be a rock star, even for just a moment. Don’t believe me? Then how do you explain the popularity of the Guitar Hero games (or Rock Star really) or even the Dance Dance Revolution games? Those games give everyone a slight taste of playing in a cohesive band, without all that hassle of learning to play an instrument or having any sense of tone and pitch. It’s also why every other episode of MTV’s MADE is about some high schooler who wants to be in a band, or win a freestyle rap contest.
It makes sense to me at least, I’ve always wanted to play music, and since I was 14 I have been in a series of unsuccessful bands. This means that for more than half the time I’ve been alive, I’ve been playing music, which as I read that back to myself makes me feel more than a little bit old. I’ve gone through a series of styles, from Pop-Punk to Ska to Speed Metal to whatever it is that I’m doing at the current moment, and I’ve realized that no matter what sort of music you play, or who you play it with, there’s really one overarching truth to the whole music industry : It pretty much sucks.
I’ll expand on this, because if not it would be the shortest article on OMGJeremy since my “Guide on Lovemaking” article was turned down. (more…)
When you are in a low place, emotionally, people do all sorts of things to try to cheer you up even though you are obviously showing your desire for isolation by being curled into a tight, sobbing fetal position for days on end. Occasionally, very occasionally, the very fact that someone in your life cares about you enough to try to alleviate a depression actually works, and you begin counting your blessings. However, that seems to mostly only work if your depression is revolving around the notion that you are all alone, or otherwise unliked. Maybe it actually helps people very frequently, but I don’t realize that because I seldom feel universally unliked, or, my depressions are so ridiculous that I can take any rainbow and turn it into a SHITBOW. I’m a treat all around. (more…)
“Life is somewhat sad when you are just a head.” Could there be any truer words spoken among the cast of characters in Unicorn Valley? Probably not. Will this head ever make a return? Will his full story ever be told? Again, probably not. Does anyone care? Well… I think you know the answer to that. (more…)
Melissa is a very good friend of mine. Sometimes, I am in a bad way, suffering from Emotional Content and the Blues, and she does her best to cheer me up. I appreciate her efforts, and I hope that she doesn’t feel too bad when even talk of how cute kittens are causes me to just curl up into a pain ball and weep until I am out of teardrops. It isn’t anyone’s fault but my own, probably. (more…)
I know Jeremy is usually the one reviewing Japanese animation around here, but it was discovered, in our hunt for Terribly Sad Movies to review for this month, that I was the only one of us who hadn’t seen this one yet. In fact, I hardly knew anything about it other than it was rumored to be “the saddest damn film.” The rumor came from the source of Jeremy and Billy. So it was decided that I would be the one to sit down one sunny summer Wednesday afternoon and watch this little flick which was apparently about children in WWII Japan. Lucky me. (more…)
The four horsemen of the apocalypse. The skinny one is called’ Plague. Just so you know.
Depending on your point of view, it sounds exactly like the beginning to either a really good or really bad sci-fi horror movie.
Deep within the confines of two separate government-funded research facilities, under constant watch by armed guards, locked away behind stone and steel and glass, frozen at minus 94 degrees Fahrenheit, a monster sleeps. A brutal killer, it is a monster in the truest sense of the word. Cold, callous, devoid of such human ideals as compassion, morality, motive or thought, over unknowably numbers thousands of years it has slaughtered tens of millions of people, sinners and saints and plebian and patrician alike, and left nothing but the stench of death and the horror of hideous mutilation in it’s path. It has caused the downfall of one of the greatest civilizations of the ancient world, unwittingly used as a weapon that decimated entire kingdoms of man, leaving the survivors broken, subdued, helpless children lost and alone amidst a sea of death caused by a hellish beast that just doesn’t care. (more…)
