OMGJeremy

Humpday Gaming: Let’s Watch Commercials, I Guess

Game commercials! I love them. Well, old ones, anyway. There’s a certain wild west to most of them, since no one really knew how to sell video games to kids at the time because of their general newness to the masses. From the 80s and on into the mid-90s, video game commercials were some of the most entertaining things on television. Well, besides Murder She Wrote and Golden Girls.

Take a quick trip along with me into this shameful display of advertising history.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzcosSn48cI

What’s the best thing about terrible 80’s western art and animation? Everything, naturally. And Double Dragon 2’s commercial does a Hell of a job showcasing some of the best ever in a video game commercial. Look at that whip! Nothing has ever moved like that!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC1udmw58o8

Remember when games were totally IN YER FACE with attitude and all sorts of gross shit that was supposed to make games look edgy and cool, but just sort of made it look like everyone involved was straight out of the fifth grade? This commercial for Killer Instinct was no exception to the rule. Also, I’m pretty good at reading lips, and I’ll be damned if I know what alien curse-words these totally cool kids (sorry – “kidz”) are even saying.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNEq3zqeaDQ

Ducktales was awesome. This commercial is awesome for an entirely different reason. Just know that, at some point on this planet, kids talked like that. And it was culturally acceptable. We also wore neon t-shirts, and jeans that were so stone-washed that you could feel the bleach eating away at your legs for months after you bought them. NONE OF US WERE ON DRUGS. One thing I can say that isn’t too accurate is the location. As far as I remember, none of us played games in giant, post-apocalyptic warehouse full of Nintendo systems. At least not on my side of town.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUHIqgRKBxw

This game was terrible. I won’t go into too much detail here, but I think the commercial does an excellent job of telling you why it’s so bad. This kid is SO EXCITED to play a game that is so completely awful, that it actually makes you angry watching it. Nobody has ever wanted to play Back to the Future on NES, except for this one kid. This hermit child LOVES this game. He is having the time of his life. Back to the Future on the NES is the pinnacle of everything to him. I can’t stop hating everything now because of it. Even if it does punch the shit out of his little sister.