I’m just gonna tell you upfront here that I often pretend to be an Incan scholar. It really doesn’t have that much to do with quinoa, that most nutritious of foods. My old friend Mat shares my enthusiasm, it would seem. That, incidentally, it 100% exactly what Mat looks like. (more…)
Journey back with me to the Garden of Eden. Having never read the Bible, everything I say in this paragraph may be very inaccurate but honestly half the stuff in there is open to interpretation so don’t try telling me I’m wrong. I am talking about a particular type of man in this article, and that damned Adam was the first one. Once proud and clothed only by a leaf over his hangdowns, Adam would soon become not-so-proud and probably still just clothed only by a leaf over his hangdowns. It was a woman that caused his downfall. A woman and his inability to say no and to be a fucking man. (more…)
There are times my Netflix recommendations are pretty awesome. You know how on XBox Live Netflix streaming it offers you “Movies Like [name of last terrible movie you watched]“? Well, normally for me this leads to “Movies like Fright Night”, which is going to list a bunch of subpar horror movies, most of which I’ve seen. While I still appreciate this as sometimes it uncovers a forgotten gem or something, this feature is really the most useful for me when I watch something out of my usual interests. This past week I decided to watch Krull, which is nowhere as great as you remember it– even if you hated it, it’s even worse. However, I then got a “Movies like Krull” listing the next time I went on… and just wow, what a load of crap. While it did list Time Bandits and a few other movies that I would like, I got a whole bunch of crappy barbarian movies — and a movie called The Dungeonmaster that I have never even heard of. I’m so glad I checked this out. (more…)
You know what? Fuck you. I already hear the groans coming from your direction from this one. But like it or not, Police Academy is a pretty damn funny movie. And even more shocking is that it still holds up pretty well. Now I will wholeheartedly agree that this series went on far past its prime. Even spawning an amazingly bad Saturday morning cartoon that could have an entire feature written on it alone. The original film though, is still pretty damn good. Again, fuck you. Here’s a goddamn trailer for it to make the vomit rising in your throat taste that much worse: (more…)
It’s hentai movie review time again, kids. I honestly never thought I’d ever be writing so many of these. Mostly because you can only write about so many hentai movies before you start to sound as if you are repeating yourself over and over again. This is not any fault of my general writing skills, (Those are best left unmentioned) but mostly because every single hentai movie is virtually the same. If you’ve ever watched much hentai at all, then you already know this is true, which is why I never really wrote much more on the subject, (and by looking at the last time this site was updated, much of any subject period). But being that it is a new year I figured I could at least find time every now and again to review a few hentai movies, no matter how God awful and brain impairing they may very well be, which gives a perfect segue to today’s wonderful piece of modern animation. (more…)
When I was a kid, there was no more exciting place for me to go than the local video store. Now I realize that is probably one of the sadder statements I have ever made about myself, but just ignore that for now. The point being that every time I went in there, I would be giddy (yes, giddy) with excitement to see what new games had arrived that week. Sometimes I had heard of them, and others were oddities that I had no clue even existed. Today’s game fits firmly in the latter group. And if you can see that box art there to the left, you can imagine just how sideways my head got from confusion at seeing it for the first time. And hey, anything that features box art that “cool” deserves a chance, right? So I ran out of the video store with my weird raccoon game, completely unaware of the insanity that was about to follow. (more…)
This comic features the words of my actual, in real life friend Andrea. As you can see, she is a lovely lady with lovely thoughts. I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she wouldn’t actually drink pee at the drop of a hat, but I have been horribly shocked by friends I thought I knew before! (more…)
submitted by Brad
Over the many millions of years that man has existed, there have been great questions surrounding his existence, his purpose, and his insatiable sex drive. (more…)
Originally this was going to be a mighty series of five installments that spoke of the Fifty Worst Movies – much like the Fifty Worst Video Games series. But we had some setbacks. In fact, we started compiling this list months ago, and we still only managed to write about a measly thirteen movies. What happened, you ask? (more…)
It is no secret that former OMGJ Writer Trev is both skinny and delicate. Many jokes have been made at his expense about his skeleton which is likely made of glass. He cannot eat many things due to raging allergies, but every so often he has a feast of near-terrifying proportions. (more…)
I find it amazing just how many people that visit this site regularly think that I am somehow the most perverted man of the face of the Earth. It seems that once they see the hentai reviews, and the pictures that go along with them, it automatically adds up to the fact that I am obsessed with hentai and masturbate wildly at the sight of any type of animated breasts. And while this may hold true for 99.9% of my reading audience, I can safely say that is not the case with me. I’m not going to deny I don’t look at porn and hold myself high as some super being who has no need for such things, it’s just that hentai is without a doubt in my mind the most retardedly funny thing I have ever witnessed, and I do not even classify it as porn. Hentai has endeared itself to me over the last couple of years, not for the badly animated sex or near constant jiggling breasts, but because it’s the only kind of movie I can watch without having to use any part of my brain. Never do I have to worry about which plot twist had a connection with an estranged revenge-filled lover. Instead with hentai, I am able to sit down for 60 minutes and the hardest I have to concentrate is to try and remember not to fall asleep during the tentacle rape scenes. (more…)
