It cannot be said enough that I really do try my best to help friends in need. Unfortunately for all involved, I apparently am not a good source for practical solutions. I want to believe, however, that the solutions ARE perfect, but it is just that the world itself is the imperfect part of everything. AIN’T MY FAULT. (more…)
Hello, delicious readers! We come to you fatter, older, and less willing to entertain you as continually as we did in October, but more willing than we did throughout November, I guess. (more…)
The last time we left our heroes it was a veritable grab bag of confusion. After entering a secret fighting tournament, Ryu and his brother, Shun, were forced to fight a cyborg fighter bent on collecting data for his most assuredly evil master so he could use it for himself. Things didn’t quite go as planned after Ryu decided to give the cyborg an abdominal implant of pure energy, totally destroying the robot and any plans the evil tournament master had of getting any raw information. But being the evil malformed genius he is, he decided since he can’t get within a hundred feet of Ryu without him getting every one of his internal organs beaten through his various orifices, he grabs the next best thing, Shun, Ryu’s brother. After a quick moment of silence, gunfire erupts everywhere, a military helicopter kidnaps Shun, probably taking him to an unknown location for horrible and torturous examination. Besides, I seriously doubt he would go to all this trouble just to see if Shun could troubleshoot why solitaire is crashing his computer. Now with Shun gone and everyone else in a state of shock we begin our look at the second half of Street Fighter Alpha the Movie. (more…)
Tiger Heli was one of those games I got out of nowhere as a gift without ever asking for it, and was forced to play it because I was poor and couldn’t afford games. I was also a kid. Kids don’t get shit. Well, at least I didn’t. So any game that came by was poured over with hands that would make any archaeologist proud. Tiger Heli was given to me at Christmas by my Mom’s family. Who, if you remember back a month or so ago, was also responsible for giving me the reprehensible Jaws for Christmas as well. I don’t know what their problem was. Thankfully though, Tiger Heli was a much better game than Jaws could have ever been. (more…)
This comic features a deadly painful Mystery Burn, which are burns that I hadn’t realized are so harsh until this very moment. When Kevin hurt me, he hurt me deeply. And I still don’t really know why or how. (more…)
Sometimes Netflix recommends things to you and it is honestly more hit or miss than they probably want it to be. In Netflix’s ideal world, they could know what you want, what you are in the mood for at that exact moment, and recommend to you a film with 100% precision, keeping every customer happy and satisfied. While they may not have that technology/sorcery on hand QUITE yet, there are still some times when their recommendations turn out to be spookily in tune with the tastes of the two person viewing audience in my home. Most recently, it was with this French animation that kind of looked stupid but my boyfriend and I decided to give it a shot. (more…)
For once on this site I have decided to do a review of an anime film that does not involve underage high school girls being violated by demons with giant penis-like appendages covering every part of their body. Even though those articles are an excellent excuse to post pictures of anime girls with no clothes on, I feel I should definitely try to get more non-hentai movies on this site. With that said I’m sure as soon as I post this article I will see my entire fan base drop by 90%, as they run underneath their beds, crying and screaming in disbelief.
But just because this movie isn’t a hentai film don’t think it’s going to be some art house anime film that so many newer anime movies seem to embrace. Instead I have picked a movie that does what anime does best, show people fighting and beating the holy shit out of each other, while maintaining a strong storyline that no one will ever be able to understand. The movie we will review today follows that formula perfectly, and that movie is none other than Street Fighter Alpha. (more…)
Oh Super Meatboy. You have done to me what no other game has done in nearly a decade. I play you almost every day in an attempt to maybe, just maybe, get past the one stage I’ve been stuck on for days. I lay awake at night thinking of different strategies/characters that I could use to A+ the last few stages in a world. I also curse like a sailor that has been on a three day bender because of missed jumps, running off platforms, or being killed by a disc coming right at my face. This is what playing Super Meatboy will do to you. You think it sounds like a bad thing? Oh friend, no. It’s not a bad thing at all. In fact, playing this game for the last week or so has made me feel the joy of what it’s like to play a game that beats you down every second you play it, but still so damn fun that you have to try just one more time. And then another time. And another. And another. Welcome to Super Meatboy. (more…)
It is a very true fact of life that I am sort of horrifying sometimes. Yes, me. I mean, I am pretty benign and reasonable usually but every once in a while, and actually, it seems to be increasingly frequent – I am a horrid, almost terrifying person. I mean, Christ, look at what I said to Jeremy here. I am not proud of this, but I pretend to have autobiographical journalistic integrity. (more…)
(with comics by Amanda)
For myself, it’s becoming harder and harder to even be interested in the Internet anymore. I don’t really know why. I think once I got past the whole “Infinite knowledge at your fingertips!” bullshit, it pretty much went downhill from there. And after so long, you pretty much forgo such things as “natural ways to entertain yourself” on the Internet, simply because you can only read so many news sites before you start punching yourself. So you then go into the realm of Internet “shock and terror” to find entertainment, since, if the Internet’s good for anything, it’s pictures of aborted fetuses. But even that can only stay fresh for so long, which is where I find myself now. Nothing on the Internet phases me any more. Nothing shocks me. Nothing even seems to remotely interest me. (more…)
First off, let me say that I love Ren and Stimpy. It is probably my favorite cartoon ever. It was one of the most brilliantly random shows ever created. And for those that think it was all about fart and gross-out jokes… you’re only partly right. While those things definitely existed, it was more so the clever writing, the way more mature than kids subject matter, and its incredibly dark humor that really set it apart. And while it did taper off in quality as each season went by, it was clear that nothing would ever top the insanity that the original Ren and Stimpy episodes had created. (more…)
When you look at it, we’ve had it pretty easy on the eyes in terms of console design this generation. From the sleek look of the 360 and PS3, to the minimalist approach of Nintendo’s Wii and DSi, there’s really not much to complain about. We’ve gone a good 5+ years without having to be ashamed of the consoles we owned, actively hiding them away whenever company comes over. I honestly think at this point, we’re a bit spoiled. Case in point: when the PSP Go was announced, it was met with a chorus line of people screaming about just how hideous this new portable looked. Evidently forgetting that just a few short years ago they were probably holding a original Nintendo DS in their hands without much of a complaint. And that fucker was the very epitome of a plastic chunk of shit.
So with that in mind, I think we should take a bit of time out of our day to take a step back, and look at some of modern gaming’s most hideous systems – if at least to make us appreciate what we have today, and not be so quick to denounce everything as a mutated beast that Mother Nature banished to the depths of Hades just because it doesn’t have a capacitive glass touchscreen. And hey, even if you didn’t participate in the eras some of these consoles were around, then just imagine one of these beasts in your living room or hands for an extended amount of time, and you should get the idea of how shitty things can get when console design goes horribly wrong. (more…)
We’ve come out the other side of October, and what an October it was! It might not have been AS active as we originally anticipated, but it was certainly far more active than we have ever been before. Ever. Even in our individual lives outside of this site. Boy golly, were we ever active!
And that is, of course, why the month of November will probably be the slowest, slackiest, most slothful time we’ve ever experienced! Hooray! (more…)
God, I want a chicken. Who the Hell wouldn’t want a chicken? Just think of the shit you could do with one. The mind boggles. Sometimes I simply sit for hours wondering of the adventures such a thing would bring. Sometimes people make the mistake of talking to me while this is happening. This is usually the result. (more…)
