Childhood Rage: Back to the Future II
I have to say that on the whole my childhood was a fairly happy one and pretty uneventful. I never experienced any true traumas or moments of great sadness, and I stayed knee deep in all of the latest toys and video-games. For the most part I CAN NOT complain. However, there were a few times in those younger years where I experienced a feeling that was not that of happiness. It was not a joyous feeling at all, nor was it one of sadness. It seems that no matter what, I could not avoid events in my life that caused me a great childhood RAGE. Sometimes it was something so minor others would completely overlook it, and sometimes… well most of the time it was always something minor that sent me to throwing juice boxes and ripping Fruit Roll-Ups in half as if they were a phone book.
In this series (a series implies more than one article, so please ignore that word for the most part just in case I shit out) I will document those moments in the past that made a young Billy Holiday put down his He-Man figures, stand up, and ball his tiny fists up in an anger unnatural for his age and more suited for those 20 or 30 years his elder.
Back to the Future 2 (More like Back to the TRASH)
As a child, I didn’t really get into the first BTTF all that much. I thought it was a pretty cool film and it introduced me to the concept of time travel, but it lacked something that made it endear itself to me. I can appreciate it more these days, so I am just going to assume that it was a film geared more toward adults and it lacked any of the real eye candy that would appeal to kids. So you can only imagine the “guh” that was unleashed from my small throat when my father came into the house one day speaking of BTTF 2. He was jazzed, my mother was jazzed, but I was in a world of indifference… and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figures that were more than likely gang-banging April O’Neil. Sometimes the bad guys got in on it too, except for Baxter Stockman. He was always limited to just filming it from overhead.
You’re lucky I didn’t write the cartoon, Ms. O’Neil.
But then one night I saw a trailer for BTTF 2. I was blown away. It had to be the hover-board scenes, because I swear that was all everyone at school talked about when it came down to this film. An 8-9 year old couldn’t appreciate the plot, or the acting, or anything else of that nature. All we cared about were those damned hover-boards and how we were going to have those when we got older. But that is a story of disappointment and hating the world to be told on another day. The time finally came for us to see the movie, and the usual preparation began. My father was a man who did not believe in the high price of concessions, so as with all trips to the movies it began with my mother grabbing her largest purse and my father filling it with various candies and cans of drink. After the initial sticking it to the man, we would then arrive to the theater way too early so we could have our pick of seats. This turned out to be a very wise move, as the theater was filled literally to capacity and then some. I recall people standing in the aisles for this one.
But honestly, I probably would have stood there too. It was a great film, and to this day it is one that I don’t mind watching… now that I know how it ends. But back then when this thing was first released, I was not prepared for what would transpire.
If you are familiar with the series, you know there are three films. The first wraps up with closure like any film should, but the second does not. The second employs one of my least favorite things in movies, television, and pretty much anything that can use it. There was a scene where Doc Brown assumes he has sent Marty off, but then Marty appears again and Doc Brown pretty much shits out in the brain at the sight of such. As Marty cradles him, the camera pans back, the music swells…
Wait, looks and sounds how movies end, but there is still this problem to resolve!
The camera keeps panning back, and music keeps swelling, and then it happens. Those three words that completely ruin anything that came before them in any film or show.
WHAT
The audience let out a groan. Not one of pleasure, because I assure you every crotch was limp or dry (respectively) due to this travesty. I recall looking around and seeing all of these adults around me up in arms, and realizing that the feelings I felt deep inside were justified. I stood up, though I doubt anyone was aware since I was still clocking in at just above waist level on most folks. I stood up and I let out the strongest words that my 8 year old mind could come up with at the time.
“THIS IS TRASH,” I proclaimed loud and proud. I may have said it more than once.
These words were yelled as I clutched a snuck-in bag of Fun-Dip so hard that the dipping stick broke in my hand. I did not say this to impress anyone, nor do I even know how everyone reacted to this angry child outburst. My eyes were fixed on the screen, and deep down inside I wished death on every name that scrolled by. Of course I wasn’t completely sure what death really consisted of back then, so if I could go back I wouldn’t be that harsh… maybe just wish a little minor injury on them or a moderate flu. On the ride home I was not chatty about the film like I usually was when we left the movies. My parents didn’t try to discuss it, so I am assuming they either witnessed their child briefly lose his mind or they at least felt the same way I did. My opinion of the BTTF series was at an all-time low.
The hover-boards were nice, and enough to fool most kids my age into thinking they saw something great, but I knew the truth. I walked through school seeing beyond all the flashy effects and realizing that I was alone in thinking that this was an unforgivable offense. Oh well, most of the kids I knew were stupid as shit anyway.
We did go on to see BTTF3, and it sucked ass. That may be just because I was full of bitterness, but I’m not watching it again to find out for sure.
