I have a horrible shame to admit: I was never that into Mystery Science Theater 3000. Not because I didn’t like it, but mostly because I never had a firm grasp of when or where it was on. Then when I would catch it on, it would literally always be like the last ten minutes of it. To my credit though, I always enjoyed those last few minutes a lot. By the time I figured out that this was something not to be missed, it had been relegated to only being played at 2AM on random weeknights, so I gave up that dream. Fast forward to 2010, and it seems I am now able to rectify that horrible mistake, thanks to Netflix instant streaming. And there is honestly no better introduction to how awesome MST3K is than this fineĀ pieceĀ of Canadian cinematic gold.

The Final Sacrifice is an amazing movie in that it seems to try SO HARD, but what it produces is so bad that a good 90% of the movie is cringe-inducingly bad. The main character, a thin-as-cardboard kid, has to try and drag this corpse of a movie around about a weird cult that is trying to kill him and find some secret city, trying in futile desperation to make it entertaining. Which it certainly is, but for all the wrong reasons. Not only is the kid absolutely terrible, but his costar – a meaty, mulleted man that wears jeans from head to toe – tries his best to play the bad guy gone good. But usually just ends up making you wonder why anyone would ever choose to cast a guy that looks more like your alcoholic uncle as the film’s “cool” anti-hero. By far the best character however, is the weird prospector guy that appears around the end of the film. This guy alone is worth seeing this shit:

Oh, and I can’t forget the bad guys, as this film features the BEST henchman ever put in a movie. Not even kidding. These guys would make Cobra Commander proud.

So you get all of the above, which is good enough for entertainment alone, but you also get the great commentary from Mike and the robots. Now, no matter how much you like MST3K, you have to admit that some movies have some pretty hit and miss commentary. This time though, the entire movie is populated with some great lines and running jokes throughout. It doesn’t hurt that the movie is so easy to laugh at on its own merits, but the added commentary gives it more character than the actual movie could ever hope to achieve.

So if you’ve always wanted to check out MST3K, and just didn’t know where to start, this is about as good as they come. ROWSDOWER!

Author: Jeremy

Jeremy is a quiet, steadily mortified man hailing from Indianapolis.
Contact him this way: omgjeremy@gmail.com (hint: it’s email)