My Life With Seaman Pt.5
Alright! Last week the seaman evolved into tadpole form! What will happen this week? Will he take over the world? Will he kill off more of his own? Will he tell me the secret of life? Well, let’s see exactly what he will do, but first… BRING ON THE WARNING!
If you do not want the evolution of Seaman and the later parts of his life ruined, please don’t read the rest of this article.
So, now that I’ve got that warning out of the way, back to the Seaman. But first, here’s how it looked last week.
yep...
Day 29
NOTHING HAPPENED. I fed seaman, and then he decided he didn’t feel like talking to me. Whee. This is about as fun as having a cat.
Day 30
Today definately makes up for yesterday. Today Seaman did feel like talking, and he wanted to talk about politics. A little ambitious today, I think, but very enlightening either way. First off, I learned that Seaman is neither a Democrat or a Republican. It turns out Seaman is a Monarchist. Why do I say this? Well, first Seaman asked me what I thought of our political system, that is, does my vote count for anything. Well, even though it is just one vote, I think every vote adds up, and you should all vote as soon as you are able. If you don’t vote, then don’t whine about how much the government sucks, because you aren’t even doing the one thing you can do. Well… how about that… a P.S.A. in OMGJeremy. And they said I’d never be helpful… anyway Seaman responded to my voting pride with this:
“I don’t think it really matters who you vote for anyway. I mean, you’ll end up with Rich Middle-Aged White Man #1 or Rich Middle-Aged White Man #2. I suppose you could get a few minor differences, like Very Rich Middle Aged White Man or Old Rich White Man…”
Well, that was sort of a surprise, I thought, but he continued asking about my political beliefs. After he felt he knew enough about my thoughts on the American political system, he shared his thoughts with me. This was surprising.
“Your system of government is set up so that you, the common people, can’t screw it up. Have you heard of the Electoral College? Checks and Balances? Do you know why the founding fathers put those features in place? To insure that if the people tried to actually do something, there would be other measures in place to stop anything meaningful from actually occurring… you people should have just stuck with your kings.”
Well, Mister Seaman… I think you have a jaded view of the American political system. I actually think if enough people tried hard enough, we could get a change. But, I’m sure none of you care about my political views. So here’s a picture of Seaman.
Look at them plot against me...
Day 31
It’s day’s like these I’m glad I don’t have a real pet. I didn’t have much time today at home, so I fed the Seaman and made sure he had enough heat and everything, but that was it. Tomorrow I’ll talk to him.
Day 32
Well, after politics, what else did I not really want to discuss with my virtual fish? Religion. Luckily for me, he felt like bringing it up. Actually, it was a fairly straightforward conversation. Basically we both believe religious wars are a bad thing. I don’t know anyone who thinks they are a good thing, but a huge portion of our world seems to think so. However, I think Seaman could be the next major religious leader. I mean, this was the most religiously meaningful thing that I have heard in months:
“Religion is like one of my food pellets. They are meant to fill my life, not cause me harm. Religion is the same way. It is meant to bring people happiness, yet it has caused wars throughout human history. Religious wars are like throwing food at my head because you want me to eat it.”
Amen, Seaman. Amen.
Man, my photoshop skills
Day 33
Unfortunately, I didn’t have much time to do anything with Seaman again today. I did make sure he was fed. But I did go see a bunch of bands tonight, and didn’t get home until 3 AM. This will make getting up at 5 AM much more difficult. I wish I got to sleep all day like Seaman.
Day 34
Well… Seaman is much more than I originally thought. After asking me a few questions about my family, he then said he’d been remembering much about his past. It turns out he was the son of the King of Egypt, during the third dynasty. He was in love with the high priest’s daughter, but they were forbidden to be together. The high priest prayed to Thoth, the God of Wisdom, that these two may be together, despite traditional class differences. Thoth agreed, but there was a catch. The son was turned into a fish (our friend, “Ugly Bob”) and the daughter was made into a bird. The agreement was that after two thousand years they would evolve into their original states, and would finally be allowed to be together. So, to go continue evolving, he needs to be let free.
Wow. There is a lot more to this talking fish-man that I originally let on! Well, if it’s the only chance to let Seaman find true love, I’ll happily let him out of the tank. But he needs my help. He will jump onto the large rock, and then I must yell “jump” to help him out of the tank. I’ll do my best Seaman.
JUMP!!!
He didn’t make it out this time. I hope we can try again tomorrow.
Day 35
First thing today, we tried the jump thing again, and failed. I hope we get more chances at this. Now all he wants to do is go to sleep. Goodnight, Seaman.
So this ends week 5. I think we’re really close to the end of this thing, but at this point I’m getting worried. I’m really low on food, only 2 more days worth left, and if I keep screwing up his jump, he may starve to death. And look how peacefully he sleeps…
Awwww...
It’s sort of scary, but I actually feel a bit of pressure to not screw this up. We’ll find out next week in what will most likely be the conclusion to the Seaman Chronicles… I just hope I don’t screw this up…
