Humpday Gaming: Shadow: War of Succession
Keeping up with my endless quest to flood the site with obscure 3DO games, I give you Shadow: War of Succession – quite possibly the biggest shit biscuit ever launched out of the 3DO’s ass. A fighting game that reaches the shittiest of shit depths, almost to the point where it becomes something more along the lines of sad comedic value. Like laughing at the cripple with the small arm trying to feed himself, you know you shouldn’t laugh at something so degrading, but damn it’s so hard not to. (more…)
The human celebrity is a creature that is much sought-after indeed. For whatever reason, these celebrity people have given up any chance of privacy or normal living so that they can be recognized wherever they go, mobbed by crowds of frightening strangers, followed by photographers, ambushed by undercover police, and hunted by stalkers. I suppose they enjoy all of that attention, and of course also the bazillions of dollars that are delivered to them with wheelbarrows and shovels onto their front steps. Yes, fame and wealth are pretty swell, or so I am told. And it would be all peaches and sunshine and roses if these famous people could get attention, and cash dollars, and houses that cost bajillions of money, and could only be seen in clubs and restaurants and gated communities where other pretty people with equal levels of all of these things could see each other and they’d never ever be bothered by gross icky poor people like the rest of us.
Not really having a job or school or a set schedule at all ever has sort of given me what I consider to be a pretty fun outlook on Time. I think I haven’t had an actual schedule except for the odd appointment for like the past twelve years or so. This is an amazing feat, let me tell you, because these modern times are tightly controlled by time-obligations and timesponsibilities and such. You are meant to be places at certain times or else people will JUDGE YOU VERY MEANLY.
Alright! 
If you grew up in the 80′s, then you probably have a recollection for those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. If you are not familiar, these were essentially books where you would make decisions, flip to the appropriate page, and either continue on with the book or lose / die in some form or fashion. It was a pretty cool concept, but the one problem was that after you read through and completed the book once or twice… you really had no reason to go back. But while this sounds like a decent formula for a book, how would a video-game that followed this concept turn out? In games you already had complete say over what your character did, so making that A or B decision would just suck… right? Well, one company didn’t think so. In Dire Straights Productions (a title that I imagine ended up being very appropriate for them) thought there was a market for it, and in 1999 they would put all of their “hard work” to the test with their masterpiece “Slaughtered Roommates.” 
Jesus fuck it’s summer already. Well, I’m not sure if it’s “officially” Summer, as I’m not entirely sure if there should be a single date declaring that it is indeed Summer. I simply go by the tried and true method of knowing when it gets too hot to function normally, then it’s summer. I don’t care if it’s the middle of December, if the temperature gets high enough to make me lay on the ground and give up on life, then it’s fucking Summer. This is where we’re at now, and I damn well barely made it from my car to my front door yesterday before I accepted my fate and just let the sun finish destroying my will to live, so this to me indicates that it is indeed Summertime, which basically means it’s time to never go outside again until Winter blows in around next February. 
Alright! 
Written By: Matan
I’m not sure what it is about being a child, but it gives you the ability to be amazed by things that mysteriously lose their appeal as the years slip by. As a slight example, I shall reference the Colorforms, popular toys in the 1980s and I think they are actually still around today. I used to be able to play with Colorforms for literally an entire day. But then, I suffered the amnesia induced by Elementary School, where the teachers try very hard to make you forget and to shape your mind to become like a little adult with pressures and responsibilities. I forgot about the Colorforms and their astonishing levels of joy. Then, years later, possibly around age 11, I found my old Colorforms and said, “Hey! I’m still technically a kid! Let me get the play going here!” Not more than three minutes later, I was bored to death with the Colorformed antics of the Pound Puppies.
Well,
As a child, I was a big fan of Ghostbusters. I had the movies, the toys, the proton pack that sadly no longer comes even close to fitting, and a pile of VHS tapes of the cartoon recorded straight off the television. So you can imagine how excited I was when I saw a Ghostbuster video-game in the store. I first purchased it for the Sega Master System, and was massively unimpressed. This was long before I would come to realize that movie tie-in games, by rule, had to suck. I still played that game over and over, tooling with all the different gadgets you could buy. I made the most out of my purchase and extended the playing time as much as I could before finally washing my hands of it. Then I purchased the NES version.
Over the next few weeks we’ll be looking at some of the worst fighting games ever made, so I figure this is as good as a time as any to share this… game. While nothing in the upcoming weeks will be as broken or stroke-inducing as this fighting game, I can honestly say that none will be quite as hilarious. Street Fighter has nothing on this fine specimen.
