OMGJeremy

Reader Submission Corner: Up Close And Personal With Erotic Fanfiction

Submitted by: Frank

Does a more frightening word or phrase exist? Basement dwelling nerds who drool over cartoon girls and imagine themselves the next Stephen King pounding away at the keyboard and inventing new and exciting adventures for their favorite fictional characters. To a degree there’s nothing wrong with the concept of fanfiction, because who among us has not wondered what would happen if Doctor Sam Beckett Quantum Leaped his way into Marty McFly, or what hijinks would ensue if Superman got into a fight with Goku?

OK I personally have never wondered that last one, but I’m sure that there are people reading this that have, and possibly have written at length about it. For what it’s worth, Superman would win, and Doc Brown and Al would go out for booze and hookers.

I’m getting distracted. The point is that there actually does exist something more frightening than your standard Internet nerd fantasy, and that’s what we’ll be talking about today.

I refer, of course, to the world of EROTIC fanfiction.

While the concept of erotic fiction is nothing new (one look at the letters page of Penthouse will show that), the internet takes it to a whole new level, and with the number of people online, and the virtually infinite time that some people have, there’s not one piece of media from the last 30 years that is untouched by these weirdos.

Super Mario Brothers?

Breaking away from the kiss, the Princess moved her hands up, in a flick of the wrists Luigi’s pants were undone, and only moments later a quiet thud landed them off as Luigi’s fourteen inch pipe pointed towards the sky like some glorious rocket boldly going where no man has gone before… or at least for a couple weeks.

“MMM,” Toadstool said as she licked her crimson lips, the slightest moistness gathering as she bent down, to get a closer inspection of his member. Grabbing the tip with one hand and the base with another, she slowly began to rub her hands over his thick veiny member, feeling it pulse and vibrate with each move. She glided her tongue along the bottom, feeling with delight as Luigi shuddered in pleasure. Teasing him, she gave him small kisses and licks over his throbbing blue balls and thick Italian sausage.

If you use your imagination here, you're a much sadder person than I.

The 14 inch penis thing kind of makes me have trouble understanding how Luigi jumped the way he did in Super Mario Brothers 2. Unless maybe he’s literally a brother, cause, you know, white men can’t jump. Woody from Cheers taught me that.

Want to kick it a little more old school? Then witness this bit of horror, BEVERLY HILLBILLIES EROTIC FANFICTION.

Jed Clampett was out by the cement pond; he was working on a piece of wood.
His hand was working his big cock going slow. He cupped his big balls which was full of cum. Jed heard a voice on the other side of the hedges. It was Mrs. Drysdale. Jed continued to stroke his cock watching her. He thought what he could do with that. Although in her fifties she had a certain appeal, which Jed seem to admire. Jed shot a big load of cum on the ground. He put his cock away walked into the house. Granny was cooking a big pot of hog jowls and greens.

There are so many things wrong with anything erotic based off of these people

That’s just the first paragraph; I couldn’t stand to read any more.

Comic books? Yeah we got those.

“Are you gonna admire it, or are you gonna suck it?” He said, repeating her earlier words and grinning. His snide comment snapped her out of her trance, and she seized his rod hard. “Aaah!!!!” he screamed. There weren’t many things that could make Luke Cage scream, but having his dick yanked by a horny chick that could lift 90 tons hurt.

The pain was quickly replaced by pleasure, as her lips closed around the head of his dick. “Huuuuhhhh!” he sighed, as he closed his eyes and gave in to the feeling. He boasted about his steel hard skin when battling super villains, but when it came to getting his freak on, it was a drawback, because normal women couldn’t apply enough pressure to give him the full sensation. But Jennifer’s gamma-enhanced lips and tongue easily penetrated every nerve in his fuck tool. “Oh yeah, that’s it girl, unnnhh yeah, take more of it in, suck my whole dick!” She responded by taking it out of her mouth and looked up at him with an evil grin. “You think you’re something with this foot long fuck pole, don’t you? Well, it’s impressive, but I like to take my time.” Then she started licking all along his shaft like it was some ebony Popsicle.

Truly every superhero's favorite "fuck tool"

Luke Cage and the She Hulk. Sweet Christmas, indeed.

You would think that individual celebrities would be safe, and you would be wrong.

There is a large large contingent of erotica written about them, although luckily for Angela Lansbury, it’s mostly focused on the young contingent, the Hillary Duffs and the Amanda Byneseseseses:

Amanda Bynes was tall and had medium brown hair and hazel eyes. Her legs were very long, which was accentuated by her slenderness. Friends would tell her how she could be a model, although she already was one as well as an actress, but, at her school, no one knew about her “celebrity”…just another student. Her breasts were small, firm and round – like little teacups, as her ex boyfriend would compare them to. Attending university on the other side of the country, he was far from her mind. The couple agreed to break off the relationship and date others. Lonely and horny, Amanda was aching for some action. Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice the footsteps closing in behind her. “Hey, Amanda! There’s a party at the frat house on Friday – wanna come?” It was Damon from math class. Amanda singled him out on the first day by his tall, muscular figure and wavy brown hair. From what she could detect, he was very well endowed. “Sure!” Amanda smiled. She glanced at his full lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss them – she knew he was attracted to her. His wandering eyes left no secret of his lust for Amanda. With a lustful gaze made her shiver, she always became damp between the legs when he was around. “Great – I’ll see you then! Oh, and bring a swimsuit,” he exclaimed, and headed off to class.

I could have posted a picture of her as a child, but I want to remain a free man.

You know what, this is just not fucked up enough, that whole scenario is normal, and even plausible, Miss Bynes is, as far as I am aware, a normal, healthy hot piece of ass young lady, merely a famous one. So let’s kick this up a notch and get to what I hope will get a lot of people here when Google for it; AMANDA BYNES HAVING SEX WITH A HORSE.

She walked over to him and scratched him between the ears and he sniffed her breasts. She also noticed the thick black hose of his flaccid penis hanging between his legs. Amanda had no- ticed it several times before and had always wondered what it would look like erect. . . Rubbing her hand along his back, Amanda walked down his left flank to examine his maleness from a closer view point. She slowly reached under his belly and ran her fingers down its rubbery length. “My, my, what do we have here?”, she wondered aloud. His cock was now fully distended and becoming erect. The effect on Amanda was electric. She dropped to her knees and started slowly pumping him with both hands, wondering how big she could make it get. Bucks jet black cock was now rock hard and Amanda estimated it to be a little over 20″ long had to use both hands to encircle it. A drop of slippery ooze appeared from the slit on the end of his bloated cock- head, Amanda stuck out her tongue and touched it. The taste was little salty. If you could ask Amanda why she was doing this, she would be unable to answer your question. The girl was caught up in the moment, lust filled her hart. The stallion had been bathed that afternoon, and his fresh smell and taste was just carrying her along in a sexual frenzy. No reason, little understanding why….. She licked all around the bulging head and ran her tongue down his impressive length, then back up to the tip. She parted her lips and pushed a little of the head into her mouth. Her hands resumed their pump- ing motion and she pushed as much of the prick into her mouth as she could. Bucks massive cock began to throb and Amanda knew what was about to happen. She removed one hand from the animals cock and slipped two fingers up her cunt. Her other hand quickened it’s pace. Sud- denly a huge blast of cum shot into her mouth. Then another. The hot, white liquid filled her mouth and she took a big swallow but it was filling her mouth faster than she could swallow it. Amanda took the cock tip from her mouth and got a blast of cum in her face and on her bouncing breasts. Another jet and she was covered, another and the sperm was dripped onto the ground, globs were dripping from her rock hard nipples. Her own orgasm peaked as her pussy clamped down on her fingers wiggling within. Buck continued to pump thick globs of cum onto her breasts and stomach. Amanda and her horse shared their orgasms for several more moments before they were spent.

If nothing else, this should get the site some great referrer logs.

We need something to cleanse the palate now, I think.

Ah, just the thing.

BOB VILA EROTIC FANFICTION.

He’d first make sure the outlet and all the wiring was safe. I imagine him placing the vibrator on my outer pussy lips, teasing me a bit. Starting out on the lower speeds, then increasing the speed as time passed. Slowly moving up and down my wet slit, and then onto my hardened clit. Rotating it, sending pulsating electric surges into me. He would push the vibrator deep in me, making my pussy walls tighten around it. The current surging from the wall to my pussy, making me climax hard. I love power tools too…

Bob wants us to know that using the right nail is important. The whole project could depend on it. “The force of which the nail is driven in the wood, is important,” he told us. The right finishing nail is important too. He once informed me in one of his videos that “every carpenter has a special rhythm” he uses when driving certain nails in to wood. I suddenly wonder how Bob would nail me. I love all sexual positions, but I only want to think of Bob nailing me from behind. The force of him pushing his huge cock in my wet pussy excites me. The rhythm of his cock pushing in and pulling out of me over time. Nail, nail, nail. Hammer to the nail, cock to the pussy. I bet Bob would nail me perfectly till I exploded spurting my wet juices all over his cock as it moved into me…

The smile says it all

Sadly, the story I found features no actual Vilasex, only fantasy. Believe me, I’m more heartbroken about that than I should ever, ever be.

This tops it all though, and it makes me cry a little on the inside to even be typing these words: Mowgli (that kid from the Jungle Book) BALLOON FETISH EROTIC FANFIC.

After the two friends had played with the big figurine balloon in long time, did the village girl rub the balloon all over Mowgli’s naked body in some minutes, then they laid on each other, with the over inflated, and squeaking latex plaything between their sweaty bodies, till the girl got orgasm.

After a long rest, did Mowgli blow up a red, and huge bunny balloon, Mowgli threw the transparent bunny balloon over to the village girl, that caressed the balloon, while Mowgli masturbated, and soon, a big glob began to splatter out on the balloon, that Mwgli dried his sticky dick with.

Later in the evening, did Mowgli and the girl continue their fun by the lake, the girl blew up a dark blue punchball, and under the second inflation, was the punchball much bigger than before, and the village girl felt on Mowgli’s bulge in his underpants.

I'm not even going to try

Assuming anyone is still reading, that pretty much finishes it. I thought the Vilaporn was the bottom, I really did, but that balloon shit about killed me.

So what have we learned here today?

• Every fictional character has a massive penis.
• Every female fictional character has no problem with anal sex, and rarely if ever wears underwear
• Luigi is black, although that falls under lesson number one.
• The internet will ruin everything.

I’ll level with you all, I could have filled this thing with 10 times as much junk as I did, if only for the challenge of it. I mean come on, Beverly Hillbillies fanfic of any sort, let alone erotic? So if you think there’s some show or movie or comic or person that no erotic fanfiction exists for, you’re wrong. Email me with that load of bunk and I’ll find it. Enough new material and I can write a part two of this shit.

Don’t want to email a new internet celebrity? Feel free to join up on our forums and post it there, fairly anonymously. Just watch out for that Dastardly guy, I hear he likes some kinky shit.