24th Feb2010

Humpday Gaming: Peek-A-Boo-Poker (NES)

by Billy

The game is Peek-A-Boo Poker for the NES. Made in the early 90′s, it is an interesting game to say the very least. Obviously in honor of the old Atari sleaze games, this is one of Nintendo’s forays into the arena of adult-geared video games. A very rare foray into the adult market it seems also, as I was never really aware Nintendo even accepted adult themed games. And after playing Peek-A-Boo poker, it’s very apparent why this was a rare outing for Nintendo, as it seems to be less of a game, and more of an excuse to draw barely recognizable nude women.

If however you are looking for amateurish sleaze (Note: Not the good kind of amateur sleaze), this game will suffice, as it includes many pixelly deformed breasts, and more sleazy lines than you could ever hear a drunken lonely man randomly shout out in a singles bar at various inanimate objects. (more…)

Category : Games, Humpday Gaming
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22nd Feb2010

Movie Review: Demon Beast Invasion pt. 2

by Jeremy

All right, let’s get this shit over with. I’ve been rather sick all week, resulting in long periods of time where I simply don’t want to do anything except lay on my bed and occasionally puke all over myself, thanks to some unknown virus that I must have caught during the three or so minutes I was actually outside last week. Either that or my body is getting so tired of me constantly sitting here that it’s giving me random diseases just to mix things up a bit. If I come down with scurvy next week, then I’ll know the answer to that one. But hopefully get around to writing about it next week, since my daily schedule has now turned into this:

10:00 AM – Wake Up
10:00 AM – Realize stomach is trying to turn inside out. Go back to sleep
3:00 PM – Wake up
3:05 PM – Scream into toilet until I vomit
4:30 PM – Eat leftover food that was either too slimy or gross to eat yesterday but now looks palatable thanks to tremendous hunger.
4:50 PM – Fail to make it to the bathroom and vomit all over myself while in full on puke-sprint
5:20 PM – Give up, and go back to bed and hope death comes swiftly (more…)

Category : Hentai Review, Movie Reviews
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19th Feb2010

Spend The Weekend With Billy: Internet Rage

by Billy

I often stray from “Top 10 Lists.” Not just because I think most of them are pointless and about things I don’t give a shit about… but because they are usually full of the most unfunny shit of any pieces of entertainment writing out there. Was a deadline creeping up and a writer needed to crank out some bullshit to meet it? That fucker just cranks out a Top 10 List and his job is saved for another day of getting up early, sucking some bigwig dick, and being an asshole.

Yeah, we did some lists on this site, but those are different. We aren’t getting paid (F U Jeremy) to do this.

But at heart this article isn’t really about my hatred for such things. Yes, what I am talking about was found within a Top 10, but it is not about lists themselves. (more…)

Category : Articles, Blog
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17th Feb2010

Game Review: Blaster Master Overdrive

by Jeremy P

I’m sure like most of you, I more or less grew up playing hours upon hours of Nintendo. Yes, I had an Atari or Intellivision beforehand that I played, but it was the NES that really overtook my childhood in probably an unhealthy way. After the age of 10 or so, I would be willing to bet I played 4-6 hours of NES on any given day until I went to college and discovered that you could drink beer at any time of day. And from 10-17, I played countless NES games, beating a lot of them–because what else are you going to do at 10 other than bang your head against the wall on level 3 of Battletoads? Nothing. It’s not like at 10 you’ve got hot girls banging down your doors…  not that I’ve had that problem since then anyway. Even in the summers when I was actually pretty active, I still spent the evening hours or rainy days locked in my room staring at the screen until I either stood triumphant over the forces of evil, or threw the controller in a fit of rage and then sat angrily watching reruns of Mister Ed on Nick at Nite. (more…)

Category : Games, Humpday Gaming
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17th Feb2010

Humpday Gaming: MDK (pc)

by Jeremy

Around 1998 or so, my Dad decided it was finally time to get on this whole pc bandwagon fad that was sweeping the country. We had never had a computer, and the only time I was ever able to use one was when I could get on the shitty 1986 IBMs at school. A computer never seemed necessary at the time, so all those crazy people (according to Dad) buying those “computer boxes” were just throwing their money away. However, something must have tipped the scales in favor of those computer boxes, as one day he brought home a Compaq the size of a small car. What changed his mind about it all, I’ll never know. But finding a non-stop string of porn sites in Internet Explorer’s history for months after the purchase probably had something to do with it. (more…)

Category : Games, Humpday Gaming
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15th Feb2010

Movie Review: Demon Beast Invasion Pt.1

by Jeremy

I originally saw this movie a couple of years ago when I went to Tampa, and a friend showed it to me. They had told me before how awful it was, but I didn’t quite believe that it could be as badly awesome as they proclaim. “A monster bursting out of a woman’s vagina and through another man’s torso? No way!” I would proclaim. Little did I know that such a high mark for awfulness actually existed, and when I finally did see it, I was thoroughly blown away. It’s impact probably wouldn’t have been as large if I hadn’t just drunk two bottles of hard apple cider, and had already been running off four hours of sleep for the last two days. But as it stood, my drunken sleep-deprived stupor only helped aid what was already a movie made just for me. It’s like when potheads get high and play with bright children’s toys, only this was much sadder in many ways since I was lying on a bed slowly dying while vomiting on myself. Whatever it was though, I knew after sitting through two hours of animated shit, that there’s no way I could EVER do justice to that film, and simply passed it off forever. (more…)

Category : Hentai Review, Movie Reviews
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10th Feb2010

Humpday Gaming: The Real Ghostbusters (Gameboy)

by Jeremy

picture-1Licensing in games has always been viewed as sort of a Holy Grail type of game for Publishers. Not only is it a known entity that requires zero hype just to make people recognize what the game is, but it’s almost a sure-fire sales machine at the stores. Kids have always wanted to be their favorite movie heroes, and what better way than games? It’s the perfect synergy. Yes, I said synergy. I’m mad at myself too.

Movie licensed games these days are considered mediocre at best, but what people need to do is step back about fifteen years and remember the movie games of yore. Featuring such classics as Back to the Future on the NES, and the one ring to rule them all: E.T. for the Atari 2600. Yeah, movie licensing was a tragedy at best.

(more…)

Category : Games, Humpday Gaming
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08th Feb2010

Movie Review: The Stuff

by Jeremy P

The_Stuff_coverHey guys, sorry that I missed a few weeks of articles. I just picked up this new game World of Warcraft, maybe you’ve heard of it? Anyway, I’ve spent the last week or two playing it and didn’t find time to write at all, so I apologize. Wait, what? Ok, Jeremy is telling me that it’s been something crazy like 5 years since I’ve written anything new. That can’t be right. What’s that? It’s 2010?! A black president? Jay Leno got fired, then rehired, and now Conan is out of a job? Whatever Jeremy, I’m not falling for your tricks again. Besides, if that was right I’d surely be fired from my real job by now — I’ve been calling in sick since I got WoW and… hmm… you know, I might be in a bit of trouble here. This would explain my ZZ Top beard I appear to have grown in the last “few days.” Oh my. Well… might as well pick up where I left off. This week, I present to you The Stuff, a movie about the horrors of a new alternative to ice cream. (more…)

Category : Movie Reviews
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08th Feb2010

Reader Submission Corner: Guide to International Travel

by Guest

dtczb2q_20cmxg3cg3_bSubmitted by: Tony

Most of the time I go through life absorbed in my microcosm of a world, I am focused on that which is immediately relevant to my everyday life. But, every now and then, I wipe the sleeping medication induced crust from my eyelids and remember that there is an entire world out there, teeming with interesting cultures, landscapes, and intense hallucinogenic drugs that I can only dream of. Such a daunting endeavor it is to go forth from the comfort of your own hot pocket wrapper and porn laden home to travel halfway across the world to another country where, not only can you not communicate effectively with anyone, but just drinking the water could make your ass squirt blood faster than the hot pockets and beer do. That is why I have compiled this thorough guide to international travel, so that you may one day venture forth from your dark cave with confidence and poise.

Despite the monetary cost, international travel is quite rewarding. We have all heard the cliched stories of how much you will appreciate what you have when you see real poverty, or whatever other humanitarian shit-spew that international travelers rub your face in to elicit guilt and shame for not eating sewer garbage and donkey jizz. But despite the inspirational quality of such stories, this is not where the true value of travel is found. Only through true grit and determination can an individual hope to force their own micro-culture on unsuspecting residents in a foreign country. (more…)

Category : Guides
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01st Feb2010

Game Review: Summer Break

by Jeremy

Capture

I’ve been guilty many times in my life of spending incredible amounts of time devoted to relatively retarded things simply because of boredom. Like trying to create a miniature golf course in my bedroom out of cardboard, making a Go-Kart out of a non-functioning lawnmower engine, playing all the way through Final Fantasy 8, etc. All things that I would have probably gotten more out of my time by staring at a wall rather than actually putting forth effort to do them. And it just so happens that I’ll be continuing that grand tradition today, as we take a look at the time I spent playing a little game called, mysteriously enough, Summerbreak. (more…)

Category : Game Review, Games
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