Quick Guide: Trev’s Quest for the Maddest Threadz
If my snappy title didn’t clue you up, this article is about fashion. Actually if my snappy title didn’t clue you up, you are very, very stupid. Let’s just look at that word for a second: fashion. Fash-ion. F-ash-i-on. Fashio-n. Break the word up however you like, you can’t escape the simple truth that I am padding this introduction out for no good reason. Nevertheless fashion is a strange and fickle beast, given to feats of whimsy and contradicting itself. The gods of fashion dictate to us what is ‘cool’ and what is ‘in’ and we can either fall in line with the mainstream or rebel and be individual. At least until everyone else is being individual, making individuality the mainstream. Then you have to be individual in another way. And so fashion lumbers on, devouring people. (more…)
I started writing for OMGJeremy around about a year ago and soon after I began, I embarked upon a series of ‘Survival Guide’ articles intended to keep you, the hapless fuckwits of the endless wastes of cyberspace, safe from the ravages of 
Wouldn’t it be great if everything was free? If you could live your life free of care and commitment and do just whatever it is you felt like doing? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if the government gave everyone free food and health care, and everybody lived in huge, amazing mansions that they never had to pay a dime for? If Oprah came to every house in America once a year and gave everybody a new car that ran on carbon dioxide and spat out pure, lemon-scented oxygen? If you could go out drinking and always hear the words “it’s on the house?” Wouldn’t that be just be so absolutely amazingly fantastically wonderful, you’d shit your pants until you died? 
It’s a fact – girls have the worst toys ever, and they’ve only gotten lamer since I was a kid. I’ll admit it… when I was young I sort of thought My Little Ponies were cool. I may have secretly wished that I had all the Strawberry Shortcake dolls. I might even admit to having a Care Bear doll if you buy me a few drinks. But, nowadays there are NO girl toys that look interesting in the slightest. Yeah, there are lots of what I’d consider to be asexual toys, like Pokemon for example, but for the most part “girl” toys are the most boring pieces of plastic to ever be placed on a Toys R Us shelf… and when I say that I am including those hollow plastic pig banks. At least those held money, and if you tied a rope through its nose, you’ve got a pretty dangerous mace-like weapon. 
Ah hentai, will you ever cease to amaze me?
I’d like to start this off by clarifying something: I don’t write video game reviews to show off the latest and greatest games around. You want a site for that? Go look at Gamespot or some other site that gets free copies of things. I try to review games that I think people missed the first time around, and didn’t get enough press the first time around. That’s not an all-inclusive rule, but it’s a better rule for the content here than “I review new stuff.” With that out of the way, let me also say that nothing good is coming out for a while that I am interested in, so if you want to read about the hottest new games, you’re in the wrong place.
In a valiant effort to keep our dedicated readers abreast of important current events, we at OMGJeremy have decided to thrust upon you information concerning a controversial project underway on England Island. We are selflessly bettering ourselves by taking our limited, narrow awarenesses and expanding them to reach a global level. Someday, we aim to be your primary source of universal news.
I love platform games almost as much as I love shooters. Ever since I played Pitfall, I’ve been in love with these games. Super Mario Brothers absolutely blew my mind across the room when it came out. Before then I hadn’t played anything like that, and since then I’ve played hundreds if not thousands of these games. Actually, I think the NES had over a thousand plaformers by itself. Since Mario Bros., there have been some high points in platformers… Super Mario World for the SNES, Medievil for the Playstation, any of the Mega Man games just to name a few. But there have been some real shitpiles as well. I know I’m not the only person who played Amagon for days just because they thought it would get better. And then threw it out their window. 
You know, I’ve known of OMGJeremy and his happy little webpage of unbelievable, soul-sucking doom for some time now. At first, it was used as a little slice of inter-pie where he stored all of his barely literate, debatably humorous “articles,” or “rants.” Then it started shaping itself into whatever it is now. What is it now? Well, I hardly know. It’s like it is his website, but he seems to write about one quarter of all new material. Some time ago, he enlisted some of the chumps he’s made into “friends” to help him out whenever he needed a hand with fulfilling some insane quota he made up for himself. Eventually he needed help every week and the Staff of Writers was born. Lucky us. 
