OMGJeremy

Let’s Take A Tour Of A Flea Market

We here at OMGJeremy realize that many of you may still be apprehensive about going to a flea market, simply from the inability to understand what these flea markets have to offer. “Couldn’t I just find the majority of this stuff at my local landfill?” you may be asking. For the most part, yes, but you’d be missing out on the magic that is the flea market experience. To help you understand, me and my good friend Ronnie took a trip to our local flea market, and we’re going to let you come on a virtual tour with us:

Welcome to the Indy North Side Flea Market. Here you can find tub after tub of goods that were most likely stolen from other local stores, or simply acquired through other countries in cheap bulk. As you can see here, the selection is as random as the goods are illegal.

Nothing says Nascar fan like a camouflaged Dale Earnhardt cap. Note that this cap is a measly five dollars. How can you go wrong for that price? Throw down a fiver and get ready to CRUSH THEM TERRORISTS… in a NASCAR. Dale’s got your back.

This is an example of a small booth. Yes, this was an entire booth. Note how most of it is complete shit. The festive teddy bear does seem to liven things up a bit, however the poor, poor Miss Piggy has seen a life of hardships it seems. The horrible snake thing seems to be bearing down for the kill.

This was a small selection of groceries just sorta out in the middle of nowhere. I’m not one to say how safe one would be by purchasing food at a flea market, but I have generally always followed the common sense rule of “Never buy food from a flea market, no matter how cheap.” I kept with this rule here as well. Such a purchase would constitute horrible stomach and bowel death I would imagine. Especially at seeing the quality of the other products. Though I must admit I did have a hankerin’ for a giant bottle of BBQ sauce at the time. Damn you, flea market and your accursed but tempting food products!

This was the electronics selection. Not much really needs to be said. I enjoy the random pants covering the closest TV, and the tube thing that appears to be at least twenty years old and filled with semen. Pure flea market quality at its finest.

Yes, you can even find handcuffs to strap your woman to the bed while you throw bottles at her face. These love cuffs were a tempting buy at $1.99, but then I just remembered that’s what rope is for. It should also bear mentioning that these were in the children’s toy section if you can’t tell from the background. Just what every young boy and girl needs!

This is how the various sections were separated from one another. It made us feel welcomed, and expectant of a police raid at any moment.

This was also a booth. I called it ‘Sad Shoe Town”. I think the organizers of this booth stood across the room and just threw the shoes at the booth, and then stomped on them in a contest to see who could make it the most unattractive booth ever. Unfortunately, I don’t think Sad Shoe Town’s population will be declining anytime soon.

This was found in the children’s video section. The title of the video is Country Mouse Meets City Mouse. I am sure it is quaint enough. However, you get an extra bonus for buying this for your child. Yes, for buying this video, your child also receives their very own cigarette pouch strapped to the front. Never before has Country Mouse Meets City Mouse been such a tempting buy.

This was proudly on display at the weapons booth. I was never aware that Spidey ever used a dagger, or climbed out from underneath the ground, but yet here it is. This will look smashing next to your camo Dale Earnhardt cap.

Another small shelf with random things. I backed away in horror when I noticed the panty liners though. Especially since the store Cub Foods went out of business here about eight years ago. Though the idea of buying panty liners at a flea market does make me laugh for endless amounts of time.

As we left the flea market, passing by rows and rows of random oddities, you really have to appreciate the uniqueness of such a place. I mean, where else on Earth can you find such absolute shit? And in such high volumes? I don’t think you can really. How could you NOT want to be here?