Spend the Weekend With Billy: The Legend Of The Bike Lady
Chances are if you live in America, you have encountered the homeless. Most cities have their regular homeless, and then you have the ones like the person I am going to write about today. Homeless people, that by either their look or mysteriousness, become legend. Your town probably even has one. That one homeless person who really stands out amongst all the others. Maybe they dress differently (or not at all). Maybe their psychopathic babbling is a bit louder than the rest. Or maybe so many rumors and stories have been told about them that they transcend the realm of being a mere normal homeless person. Whatever the case may be, it turns out we have one such person in my town (actually we have two but I can’t find pictures of the other). So for your consideration, I give you… (more…)
This past week I decided that I’d join the crowd and catch the latest horrible stomach virus going around town. It always seems to be that at least one terrible disease hits the city every winter that everyone manages to catch, and this year Pissing Out Your Ass Stomach Virus #07 won the honor. I took it in stride by basically hovering over the toilet while trying not to shit myself in the process. 
Owning and living with animals can be a rewarding experience. Pets enhance the quality of your life if you live alone and crave companionship. They generally seem to love you and befriend people rather easily. They are sweet, and fun, and cute. And even Science says that having a pet makes people healthier, assuming that the people are not hideously fraught with allergies to animal dander and/or saliva. Indeed, among normal, already-healthy people, it is shown that caring for pets reduces high blood pressure and heart disease and brain tumors and measles and broken limbs and all of that jazz. Pretty fancy, huh? 
Before I get into this write-up, I want to get one thing out in the open. I don’t give a damn that the PS3 has so-and-so frames per second. Or that the Wii changed casual gaming forever. I don’t even care that the 360 made playing games online easier than anything before it. In my view, the NES was, and always will be the greatest video game system of all time. And what I am about to talk to you about is a contributing factor to the NES’s greatness, and why I couldn’t care less about modern technology in general. Yes, I am talking about: URBAN CHAMPION. 
An assistant producer of Street Fighter IV admitted earlier this week that the characters Sagat and final boss Seth were slightly overpowered. This announcement came as a bit of a shock to people who were actually good at SFIV and didn’t see much trouble defeating these characters. However, for those who completely suck ass at SFIV, this was met with great approval, as it is the closest thing to an almost legitimate excuse they will ever have to explain their massive amounts of sucking. 
We all know the Wii has good games. It’s just that no other system since the original NES and Atari 2600 have those good games been so completely buried underneath piles and piles of shovelware games that only exist to make a quick buck off the mainstream people buying the Wii up in droves. Most of these games fall under the giant umbrella term of “Casual Game,” which is just a fancy way of saying, “our shitty minigame collection was made with a staff of under ten people, and even less money.” Usually these games will have the words “Party,” “Family,” or both, woven around a few other words that vaguely describe the game at hand. It really doesn’t matter to these games, honestly. As long as something sort of happens when someone waggles the Wiimote around, then it’s time to hit the store shelves. 
Usually when you throw Asians, bondage, and violence together you get something worthy of buying, or at least worthy of downloading and discarding after you have satisfied your primal urges that you will vehemently deny to all friends and coworkers the next day. Especially when you bring video games into the mix. That isn’t the case with this game however, appropriately titled “I’m Sorry,” probably because the developers simply did not have the time to personally apologize to anyone who was ever unfortunate enough to play this game.
