Hate and Contempt: The DMV
Oh the DMV.
Of all the places on Earth, I think I despise the DMV the most. Especially our DMV. It has the ability to be standing room only no matter WHAT time you go to it. There’s usually a line of 50 or so people before the damn thing opens, so any trip automatically means you’re gonna be there for well over an hour. I was once sitting next to a poor fool that had been there for three hours once. I don’t know if he ever left. He may still be there. Also the women that work there do not like you. No, the DMV women HATE you. They despise anyone who walks through those fucking doors, and will go out of their way to show this to you. They have no time to deal with your petty “My license was stolen and need one to drive” shit. They have a can of Diet Pepsi in one hand, and you in their face asking about secondary ID. Guess which one she cares about more.
My time there was spent talking to a rather clueless lady who could not grasp the idea that you need a license to operate a car:
Me: I need a license since mine was stolen
Her: I’m gonna need to see some secondary ID. Do you have car registration?
Me: Yes, but it’s in my car.
Her: Well, did you drive?
Me: No
Her: Why not?
Me: …
The problem was that I didn’t bring the right kind of secondary identification IE: check stubs, car registration. I had brought a bill addressed to me and figured that would be enough. No. Not quite. It seems I brought the ONE THING that wasn’t on that damn list, that looked something like:
- Check stubs
- Car registration
- Highschool ID
- old clothes
- Birthday candle from 15th birthday
- Clipped fingernail
- Anything but that fucking bill you just put on the counter
So I had to take my ass back home, dig up an old assed check stub and finally got in to get a new license. Thankfully they let me go straight to the express renewal thing, which is a big line where you MUST stand, and do so right in the middle of the people who have been rotting in their chairs for the last hour as they watch you with contempt.
I was also the only person in that line.
God I fucking hate the DMV.
